How to Make Automatic Thoughts Less Automatic
When someone fails to call you for several days, you automatically assume they don’t like you. But, did it occur to you they may just be busy? Automatic thoughts, especially negative ones, can cause self-esteem problems and depressed moods. It’s time to make those automatic thoughts less automatic.
Negative thoughts that pop in to your head on a regular basis are called automatic thoughts. Actually, they’ve become habits. We may not believe it, but we’ve taught ourselves to think a certain way by repeating the thought over time.
The Habit of Thinking Negative
Here are some unhealthy automatic thoughts you may be experiencing, the truth you can use and questions to ask yourself to help combat these thoughts:
- I’m not good enough. I can’t do something someone else can do, so I decide – I’m not good enough. The truth is we all have different talents and abilities. I’m probably great at something else. Ask yourself – What are my strengths?
- I can’t do anything right. I make a mistake on something, so I decide – I’m such a failure, I can’t do anything right. The truth is EVERYONE makes mistakes. Maybe I need more skill in this area or it could be I just need to slow down and check my work more carefully. Ask yourself – What could I do differently to avoid this particular mistake?
- Nobody cares about me. People never call or invite me to do things, so I decide – No one cares about me or wants me around. The truth is we have to put some effort into relationships too. That phone can make outgoing calls just as easily as it takes incoming calls. Also, if we continually say no to invitations, invitations will stop coming. Ask yourself – Am I putting forth the effort to initiate social interactions? Am I making the effort to go places when I’m asked?
- My life is going nowhere. I see others getting ahead on the job or having active social lives, so I decide – My life is going nowhere, what’s the point? The truth is, we all have different aspirations levels of tolerance for activity. Ask yourself – What am I doing to make positive changes in my life? What could I do differently today to get me closer to the dream I have for my life?
The Bully Inside My Head
The problem is, we’ve trained ourselves to believe these negative things are true without putting our thoughts on trial to see if the evidence supports that assumption. Therefore, we’ve become our own worst enemy. We have a bully living in our head.
It’s time to evict that bully. That process starts with building a case against him. That requires you to build a case against him. To do that, you will need to do several things.
- Focus on your thoughts and record any negative ones that come to mind
- Analyze the way the thought made you feel
- Identify what triggered your thought – what were you doing or thinking when the automatic thought happened?
- Challenge the truth of your thoughts – is there evidence to support it’s truth or evidence that supports that it isn’t likely to be true?
If your thoughts can’t be supported by evidence, it’s time to start thinking differently. Find a way to replace the negative thoughts that automatically jump into your mind with intentionally created more positive, accurate thoughts that support the life you want to live.
Need help implementing these self-care strategies in your own life? Check out my Joy Journal. It’s a combination planner/journal to help support attempts to manage your emotions and make positive habit changes.
Need inspiration and encouragement? Join me on Facebook on the Sadness to Joy page. That’s where you’ll find the daily encouragement and accountability you need to help bring your plan into existence.
What’s the main negative thought you’ve turned into an automatic response to some trigger in your life? How can you turn it into a more intentionally positive response?
