When Stress, Anxiety, & Depression Leave You Feeling Alone
The cry of every two-year old is – I do it myself. As an adult, I took that concept to a whole new level. I experienced great joy and deep pain through the years. While I always shared my joy, I kept my pain to myself. I felt like I should be able to handle it on my own – to do it myself. I didn’t think anyone would understand. My need for independence left me feeling alone and full of stress, anxiety and depression.
Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to tell someone what I was feeling. To share my pain. I wanted to let it all out and just have a good cry. But I was afraid of what others might think.
When I was betrayed, I worried others might think I was too trusting, careless, or completely naïve? How could someone hurt me so badly?
When I lost loved ones, I worried others would think I was weak. After all, everyone suffers loss, and they all manage to keep functioning. So I buried my grief and got back to work.
When deadlines loomed, and nothing went as planned, I worried others would think I was incompetent. Believe me, I wanted to experience that mythical work/life balance everyone talked about. I just didn’t ever seem to have time to find it.
Overwhelming stress, anxiety and depression were the result of each of these situations. I suffered at the hands of my emotions for 40 years before I learned I didn’t have to suffer alone. Actually, I didn’t have to suffer at all. I’ve learned how to manage my emotions rather than let my emotions manage me. Here are three things I discovered along the way:
- Pain Doesn’t Discriminate. You aren’t the first to suffer from your problem, nor will you be the last. Other people have had a death in the family, a life-threatening illness, a chronic health problem, or a horrible boss, spouse, or child. We all struggle at one point or another. There is always someone else who has been where you are and understands what you’re going through.
- Loss is loss. The grief process is the same no matter whether you lost a loved one, a job, a marriage, or a dream. There are stages of grief which everyone experiences. Knowing that what you are feeling is normal helps bring a small amount of peace.
- Stress is Universal. Everyone faces deadlines. Many have health, marriage, parenting, or financial challenges. And we all have a Sandpaper Sally or Negative Nellie in our lives. No matter how perfect others’ lives look, they’re not. We all face challenges which can lead to a physical stress response.
These realities helped me understand three things. Even though I felt alone, I wasn’t. Although I thought people wouldn’t understand, they would. And even though I didn’t feel strong enough to handle things, I was.
Lessons Learned
When I armed myself with these three facts, I became powerful enough to stop allowing my emotions to control my life:
- I am NOT alone in my suffering
- Others WILL understand what I’m going through
- I AM strong enough to handle things, especially with help from those who have already suffered and understand
Learning to manage your emotions can’t begin until you understand and embrace these truths. So the next time you suffer from stress, anxiety or depression and they leave you feeling alone, recite those three self-talk statements as many times as necessary until you truly believe them. Then find someone and open up.
Need help implementing these self-care strategies in your own life? Check out my Joy Journal. It’s a combination planner/journal to help support attempts to manage your emotions and make positive habit changes.
Need inspiration and encouragement? Join me on Facebook on the Sadness to Joy page. That’s where you’ll find the daily encouragement and accountability you need to help bring your plan into existence.
What causes you stress, anxiety or depression? Does it leave you feeling alone? How do you deal with it?
